Words of Encouragement
"God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me.
Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand." ~~
Beautiful words from Rilke's Book of Hours. Love Poems to God by Ranier Maria Rilke
I have so often felt alone. I am surrounded by people that love me but isolated by the incredible pain of a shattered heart. I have found myself wondering who could understand the mix of terror, rage and profound sadness that envelopes me? They wash over me like a tidal wave and toss me about with no way to touch solid ground.
However, no feeling is final and the waves of grief recede and a ray of light breaks through the dark clouds and I find that I was never really alone because God can never leave me.
I just keep going.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me.
Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand." ~~
Beautiful words from Rilke's Book of Hours. Love Poems to God by Ranier Maria Rilke
I have so often felt alone. I am surrounded by people that love me but isolated by the incredible pain of a shattered heart. I have found myself wondering who could understand the mix of terror, rage and profound sadness that envelopes me? They wash over me like a tidal wave and toss me about with no way to touch solid ground.
However, no feeling is final and the waves of grief recede and a ray of light breaks through the dark clouds and I find that I was never really alone because God can never leave me.
I just keep going.
posted by Becky Spellman Waltz at 6:40 PM
10 Comments:
Hello Becky,
We go to the same church, yet I never had the priviledge to really get to know you. There are snippets that I remember, like the time you were giving massages for the health fair in the "temple" room and another time when you brought school supplies to me to contribute to Kid's Club, but unfortunately these are all I can remember...far too few. I just wanted to tell you that I think that you are so brave and courageous to share your pictures,stories and feelings with mostly strangers. None of us have a clue as to what you experience day to day but I hope that you feel the love, prayer and strength that is sent to you every day by God through average ordinary people here on earth. You are a beautiful child of God, don't ever ever forget that! Ann C
Dear Ann,
I feel such a deep sense of gratitude for the outpouring of love and prayers from people like you whom I believe are truly extraordinary. You reach out and touch fellow human beings in their time of need.
Bless you,
Becky
Becky, I've been reading your story in the ABJ. I am so sorry for everything you have gone through. You are a very strong person, and you are lucky to have such a beautiful family!! I wish you all the best during this journey of healing -- both mentally and physically. Jane
Becky,
Thank you so much for touching our lives! You are my hero and an inspiration to all of those people who have always wanted to use the media as manipulation. Because of your selfishness and inconsideration, I have learned exactly how to milk bad events in life and use them to obtain sympathy and attention. Because of your thoughtless actions, I have learned that through anything, one can easily obtain notoriety and as much monetary possessions as possible. You have given me the inspiration to forget about every one impacted by bad events in life, and use that solely for my own personal gain. To suffer and grieve is simply not enough for people like us, I understand how we thrive on attention and drama. I can see that to move on is not in our creed. Together, all of us can prosper while we shatter those around us. Life is good! Thank you for allowing me to see just how extremely ugly and pathetic not only humankind can be, but thousand dollar cats as well. Greed and carelessness rule the world. God bless us all!
Dear Angry Anonymous,
I feel sorry for a person filled with such hostility toward life and people. I believe that this is a beautiful world with many wonderful people. I encountered one man that allowed selfish hate to harm another. Sad. However, my life moves forward. I believe that it is good to tell the truth even when it causes some discomfort. It is unfortunate that you viewed the telling of my story as a ploy for attention but I can appreciate that you could see it that way.
Becky
Goodness, I truly hope that previous poster was just using sarcasm as some sick kind of humor. I truly hope their cruel words were not intended to be as harsh as they were.
I have read with at first horror and then with hope and now with amazement at what you have accomplished. I have read your son's blogs about you and his sisters. You have raised wonderful, sefless, caring children. How dare someone acuse you of trying to achieve "notariety and monetary possessions." I don't doubt that you would gladly give those things up to live a life of relative anonymity. But then on the other hand, these things don't happen without leaving a person unchanged, and in your case, it sounds as though you have found reasons to feel blessed and remain a selfless, giving, loving person. I doubt the poster who said those things would have remained as positive as you have. They just might have tried to "milk bad events in life and use them to obtain sympathy and attention." Perhaps also milking the bitterness inside them.
I know you are stronger than that to let the unkind words of one poster keep you down. You have the support of countless others, including myself.
I have had my moments of self pity at the seeming unjustness of life at times, but reading your story puts them into more of a proper perspective. I, too, have learned that I have a loving supportive, giving family. It sometimes takes a jaring event to remind one of the things that we have and not of the things that have been taken from us. The things that truly matter can never be taken away.
Your story is just simply amazing and I thank the Akron Beacon Journal and you and your family for telling it. Your son is right when he says the things that make you beautiful, you're ex-husband couldn't destroy.
Keep the notoriety coming!
Love,
Another Becky
Gah. Welcome to the internet, Mom.
You know what's really inspiring about the Becky Spellman story? Even more than the strength it takes to survive a devastating attack, fighting through the pain of weeks of torturous skin graft surgeries, endless therapy, months and years of full-body garments, silicone and burn masks, having your appearance forever altered and never knowing a pain-free day again... what's even more inspiring than all that is the fact that my mother can read a post like the one written above and, after all she's endured, respond with only warmth and love.
By the way, lest anyone think otherwise (and Mom's way too polite to mention it), the idea that she's playing the media-whore / personal-gain card through all this is more than slightly laughable. Her medical bills are already well into the hundreds of thousands before her cosmetic surgeries have even begun (believe me when I tell you that insurance companies are never eager to start writing checks). To add insult to injury, this ordeal has nearly bankrupted her.
I suppose if I were to get angry at every person who's ever acted like an obnoxious creep online, I'd have to start with myself. Nevertheless, when I see exchanges like this, I can't help but thank God: of all the mothers in the world, I was fortunate enough to wind up with Becky Spellman.
Mom, unfortunately, I'm not as loving, patient or mature as you are, but you give me something to shoot for. I'm very lucky to know you.
Hi Becky:
After tasting some bitter tears in my own life, I have chosen to believe in the verse that says, "They that sow in tears shall reap with joy." Ps. 126:5 You bear the reflection of the invisible scars and wounds of the hearts of every woman and child who has suffered abuse, verbal, physical, and sexual.
You encourage me as I have opted to enter a career as an LISW working with women and children who have suffered abuse, as well as working with individuals with diabilities and their families. This dream is not possible without the sorrow God uses to carve out places in my heart that not only are now able to contain more joy, but more of Him. God uses our pain, if we don't capitulate. He has used mine.
I embrace you, I hold your hand, I encourage you, I walk beside you, as a sister in Christ...
"I consider our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Rom. 8:18
In His love,
Thank you, Dear Sister in Christ! I too believe that all things can be used for our growth. I am so thankful that we can love one another and uphold each other in time of need. How wonderful that you have chosen a career where you will have the honor of touching the lives of others.
This then, is true love and that is all that really matters.
Bless you,
Becky
Becky,
While going shopping with my daughter in law, we saw you in your car. First of all, you are so cute, yeah even with your protective mask and your baseball cap you are beautiful. You had a smile on your face, which made you more beautiful. I thought what an incredible woman you are. You have NOT used this as a self pity trip but, instead you have taken this horrific incident and turned it around as an inspiration for everyone. You have shown us what determination faith and love can do.
I read your journals for inspiration...and you are always in my prayers. But, after seeing you I think my prayers have been answered.
May God keep on blessing you,
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