Perfect Imperfection

"Your less evolved areas have a right to be. They whisper of things past. They whisper of confusion, of unfulfillment and of the pain of the soul separated from its God and the longing for that Oneness again...
To strive for Light is a beautiful calling but you cannot find the Light until you acknowledge the darkness. Souls who strive in perfect yearning are as close to perfection as anyone in human form can be...
Who demands perfection? Only you souls who are locked in human form believe somehow that perfection is the requirement. It is not. The requirement is sincerity, and open heart. That is the perfection that is demanded- the perfect longing."
~ Emmanuel's Book

At times I feel overcome with joy at the beauty of this world and the people in it. I have a sense of belonging and connection to family and dear friends that makes my heart swell. In other words, I feel blessed.
But, sometimes, the dark cloud of sadness and frustration overwhelms me. Mounting medical bills and the obvious changes to my face and body leave me feeling angry and ugly. I hate these times!! I want to crawl into a hole and not come out until I am in a better place. It is easy to share my joy but the pain is so much more difficult. I think, "It's been almost 2 years. Why am I not over this yet?!?"
I want to be whole. I want to be free. I want to be a Light in this world, a source of Love. I want my sadness to be turned into joy and my anger into Love. I'm not there yet but maybe my longing is as close as I can come to perfection.