Love Without Fear
I journal for only one person and that is myself. I write because it helps me process my thoughts and moves me toward a conclusion. This journal has been a perfect forum to express myself without fear or the need to "say it perfectly". I am unaware of who, if anyone, will read what I have to say. I record my journey so that I can go back from time to time to revisit what has helped me along the way. My journal entries are sign posts that direct me, especially at times when I feel as if I have lost my way.
My journal entry today is actually an e-mail that I sent to a dear friend to share something that I had learned after a few weeks of down time. I had been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and was having a lot of trouble righting my ship. The following words are those that I shared. I'm sure that my friend will not mind and I feel certain that I will need to hear them again.
On the way home tonight, I was listening to Over the Rhine and the words to one of their songs continues to play in my head- "I was born to laugh, I learned to laugh through my tears. I was born to love, I'm gonna learn to love without fear."
I was thinking about how fragile I have been in the last couple of weeks. I found myself guarding my heart because I was afraid... I didn't feel whole and I didn't feel "lovable" which led to me pulling back a bit for fear that I was "not enough". These are old patterns but I'm now so aware that the moment fear arises, I recognize it and know that it is mine alone. Under and through it all is the need to let go of any expectations that I put on myself to be "perfect". I can be nowhere other than where I am and I am slowly learning to give myself the unconditional acceptance that I want to give to others. We will only be as forgiving of others to the extent that we are able to forgive ourselves.
All of that said, I want you to know that I have never known unconditional acceptance before you and I believe that your entrance into my life is a wondrous sign that I am moving in the direction of "love without fear". The kind of love that we all not only want to receive but (maybe more importantly) the kind of love that we all want to give. A love so free that it flows without restraint... totally fearless Love.
I opened up Rilke's Book of Hours, Love Poems to God and read a few lines that led me to write to you tonight~
"God, give us each our own death, the dying that proceeds from each of our lives:
the way we loved, the meanings we made, our need...
For we are only the rind and the leaf.
The great death, that each of us carries inside, is the fruit.
Everything enfolds it."
Death as I understand it is not an end but rather it is a transformation. What "was" is transformed into something new. Our old beliefs (the meanings we made) and our old ways are changed into what is real and true as the rind falls away and reveals the fruit that Lives inside. We should not be surprised or dismayed when we see the rind that enfolds the fruit. We should be overjoyed because it signals the beginning of transformation. A transformation that sets our hearts free to Love without fear.
Note* The response that I received from that e-mail included the following quote from The Course in Miracles~
"The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite."
My journal entry today is actually an e-mail that I sent to a dear friend to share something that I had learned after a few weeks of down time. I had been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and was having a lot of trouble righting my ship. The following words are those that I shared. I'm sure that my friend will not mind and I feel certain that I will need to hear them again.
On the way home tonight, I was listening to Over the Rhine and the words to one of their songs continues to play in my head- "I was born to laugh, I learned to laugh through my tears. I was born to love, I'm gonna learn to love without fear."
I was thinking about how fragile I have been in the last couple of weeks. I found myself guarding my heart because I was afraid... I didn't feel whole and I didn't feel "lovable" which led to me pulling back a bit for fear that I was "not enough". These are old patterns but I'm now so aware that the moment fear arises, I recognize it and know that it is mine alone. Under and through it all is the need to let go of any expectations that I put on myself to be "perfect". I can be nowhere other than where I am and I am slowly learning to give myself the unconditional acceptance that I want to give to others. We will only be as forgiving of others to the extent that we are able to forgive ourselves.
All of that said, I want you to know that I have never known unconditional acceptance before you and I believe that your entrance into my life is a wondrous sign that I am moving in the direction of "love without fear". The kind of love that we all not only want to receive but (maybe more importantly) the kind of love that we all want to give. A love so free that it flows without restraint... totally fearless Love.
I opened up Rilke's Book of Hours, Love Poems to God and read a few lines that led me to write to you tonight~
"God, give us each our own death, the dying that proceeds from each of our lives:
the way we loved, the meanings we made, our need...
For we are only the rind and the leaf.
The great death, that each of us carries inside, is the fruit.
Everything enfolds it."
Death as I understand it is not an end but rather it is a transformation. What "was" is transformed into something new. Our old beliefs (the meanings we made) and our old ways are changed into what is real and true as the rind falls away and reveals the fruit that Lives inside. We should not be surprised or dismayed when we see the rind that enfolds the fruit. We should be overjoyed because it signals the beginning of transformation. A transformation that sets our hearts free to Love without fear.
Note* The response that I received from that e-mail included the following quote from The Course in Miracles~
"The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite."
posted by Becky Spellman Waltz at 6:47 AM
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